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<title>Don’t Shoot the Messenger by Dudeman_Oli</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27411583">Don’t Shoot the Messenger</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dudeman_Oli/pseuds/Dudeman_Oli'>Dudeman_Oli</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Metalocalypse (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Charles Offdensen mentioned, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Post-Episode: s04 The Doomstar Requiem, Trauma, post-doomstar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:28:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,174</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27411583</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dudeman_Oli/pseuds/Dudeman_Oli</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a thought I had- If Toki’s a god of death, theoretically it would make sense that he has many close calls that have no chance in being death. That having been said, imagine how painful those constant diabetic shock episodes were without the right insulin during Doomstar? Magnus finds out about it, and boy howdy, he was not ready to know- thankfully, he does not shoot the messenger. In fact, he’s quite remorseful.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Magnus Hammersmith/Toki Wartooth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Don’t Shoot the Messenger</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Don’t get any ideas. I’m here for Toki’s sake, and mine as well. My therapist told me it’ll keep my relationship with Toki strong if I at least try talking to you. Give you a chance to apologize. All that empathy bullshit.” Abigail huffed as she settled into her office chair, adjusting the pendulum on the desk. She kept it not for her own entertainment- she liked how it showed who was anxious and nervous to speak to her. If it distracted them, clearly they were tense, and that meant she had the upper hand.</p><p> </p><p>Such was embarrassingly true with Magnus. He was practically squirming in the chair across from her already, a nervous and uneasy frown on his face. Who wouldn’t be nervous, getting dragged out of bed with your boyfriend at 5 am to have a talk with someone that could easily have you killed? It had been a year or so since the, ah, “incident”- it was referred to loosely since Toki was mighty touchy on certain words. While Magnus still wondered each day why Toki had forgiven him, he understood why Abigail kept her distance.</p><p> </p><p> Finally finding his voice, he cleared his throat and spoke up, avoiding eye contact briefly before Looking know up. “I, uh… shit, man. I’m- I don’t expect you to forgive me, even with the apology. I really don’t deserve that, and- and I know that. Y’know?” He winced at how… casual this was coming off. In all reality, he was shit at serious talks, and it was still a work in progress with his therapist. “I’m sorry for the things I did to you- to both of you. I’m working on making it up to Toki, but uh… I recognize I’m not doin’ much for you yet.”</p><p> </p><p>Abigail had to admit this was better than she’d been expecting. Still shit, but better than others she’d heard before. Exhaling heavily, she sat back, crossing her arms. “Thank you for at least understanding the weight of what you’ve done. You’re far from forgiveness-“ She most certainly noticed the small wince in Magnus’ expression, “- but it’s not impossible. It’ll be hard. Most of the pain on my end was just… watching Toki suffer. Sure, I was in pain- but… god. There’s nothing worse than feeling someone dying in your arms. I don’t think you understand that feeling. I still have nightmares of his episodes.”</p><p> </p><p>Magnus paused mid breath, giving her a strange look. “I- sorry, episodes? Toki- Toki didn’t tell me about that.” Abigail winced this time. She sucked a breath through her teeth, sitting up with a murmur of <em>”I guess that makes sense” </em>as she adjusted herself in her seat. “He, well… you weren’t exactly on schedule with his insulin.” Magnus raised his brows. “You usually gave him a shot a week, but you know now that he needs a shot twice a day. Not because of the consequences, that’s just bare minimum what he needs.”</p><p> </p><p>That was news to Magnus. He’d thought that maybe those few weeks had fucked up his diabetes to where he needed more insulin afterwords. Magnus had no clue he needed insulin that much just… always. God- how sick had he made Toki that whole time? Nowadays he knew how sick Toki felt just being late on one shot.  He never seemed that close to dying, had it been that bad—?</p><p> </p><p>Abigail could recognize the processing expression on his face. “You’re familiar now that Toki, and the rest of the boys, are gods. That means they can’t really… die. They can get damned close, sure. So-“ She took a quick glance to make sure he wouldn’t, y’know, slam his head on the desk if he fainted. “-Toki was borderline dying every day. You were never there for it, since you usually… checked in around nighttime.” She began shaking a leg to fidget the nerves out.</p><p> </p><p>“I, um. I still think about it. Holding him while he was just… dying. Panicking that one day he wouldn’t recover. One day he would suddenly stop and go still. It- it fuckin’…. Hmm.” She huffed, looking down. She knew it still fucked with her to think about it, but god, it <em>really </em>fucked with her to say it. Swallowing thickly, she realized that she’d nearly strangled her upper arm at this point, adjusting her grip. Looking up, Magnus was in no better of a shape. He looked as devastated as when they’d told him Toki would need an implant to replace his damaged eye. Elbows on his knees, he stared down at his hands, clutching them together til his knuckles went white. <em>He died. He died every fucking day because of me, and he still forgives me. God- is- is that what his nightmares are? When he says they’re about me? Fuck… fuck! This is so fucked!</em></p><p> </p><p>Realizing he’d been holding his breath, he took a shuddering sigh and sat back, practically strangling his curls back out of his face. “Well. This- that’s… a lot. To, um. Find out. <em>Fuck.</em>” She strangled down a momentary feeling of sympathy and recognized that no. She didn’t feel bad for him- she felt bad about the situation. No for him. And that’s fine. Standing, she rounded the desk and opened the door, nodding to it. “I’d like to continue having these talks with you and figuring out what else you’re unaware of. The more you know, the better you can take care of Toki.”</p><p> </p><p>Magnus seemed caught off-guard that she was still accepting of the relationship, but she continued. “I know Toki is dependent on you, and he’s always been that way. He’s still fixing things with the band, so he needs the rock there for him. If Charles was here, it would be him. But- its you. And I don’t like that, but it’s not my choice. So— I want things to be good for him. If that means putting up with you, then I’ll do it. See you- lets say Thursday morning. Same time.”</p><p> </p><p>Magnus nodded numbly and stood, still reeling from his realization. He looked suddenly far older, far more ragged and sunken. She was disappointed in the lack of satisfaction that his distress gave her. Watching him exit down the hall, she shut her door once he rounded the corner, slinking back into Toki’s room with care not to wake the Norse man.</p><p> </p><p>As he sat down, cautious to not shift the other, he took a moment to just stare. To stare at the man before him- perfect, gullible, mistreated. Magnus didn’t deserve the chance to be near him, and yet….</p><p> </p><p>Taking a shuddering breath, he combed a lock of hair from Toki’s face, before settling and cradling him close. <em>“Mmm…” </em>Toki reacted but didn’t wake, pressing his head back into the new warmth. Magnus rubbed a hand soothingly on his chest, kissing amongst his hair. He wouldn’t be able to sleep, not with that shit on his mind. But for now, he was going to make sure Toki slept well til his alarm.</p>
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